Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
