Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
