Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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