how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
