She announced her abortion via fbk
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize