last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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