Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
