i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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