She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
