Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
