So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize