You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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