real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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