Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
