She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
please come you make the beer taste better
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize