Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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