I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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