Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
