my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Dear god my vagina.
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