Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
