Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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