he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
