That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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