You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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