Me too!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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