Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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