summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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