How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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