I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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