First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
