turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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