I'd wear matching sweaters with you
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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