just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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