Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
