3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Randomize
