No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
