Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
