...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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