he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize