I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
PANTIES FOUND
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