he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
