I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
