i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
it's like iHOP with fire
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
