Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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