I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize