Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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