Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
