on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
