He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
