the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
