when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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