You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
