It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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