We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
