Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Dick very happy bro
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
