I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
