he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize