I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
