If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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